The Jump
by Sora Issabella Lupin-Black
Summary: I hated those thoughts. those thought that came up whenever Remus glared at me, or refused to look in my direction. I realized too late than the astronomy tower was the wrong place to come.
1. The Jump

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just make them sad. Hate me if you want.

****

The Jump

The wind whipped at my hair as I stared at the full moon.

I would not be able to be with my friends tonight, for the first time in years.

The astronomy tower was quiet. I came here often, just to get away from the noise, the idiocy...

And the thoughts.

The thoughts that sprung up every time Remus looked at me. Or maybe the right word was _glare_.

We had had a row earlier this month; I had been upset at him for something, and had made some random jibe against werewolves.

I really wished I hadn't.

James and Peter had tried to bridge the gap between us, without any success. Remus still hated me, and I still wished I were dead.

There they were again; the thoughts.

I realized too late that the astronomy tower was a bad place to come...

What if I jumped?

Was I brave enough to jump? Stupid enough? Desperate enough?

And if I did jump, would the fall kill me? Or would it just cause more pain?

They would find my body...what would they think of me then?

My family would probably be ashamed that a Black would succumb to such weakness.

Remus would think I was a coward.

That thought did it.

I pushed myself onto the ledge so that my legs dangled over the edge.

I looked up at the full moon, took a deep breath of the cool night air, and jumped.

***

I blinked at the sun that shone through the cracks in the boarded-up windows.

Last night's transformation had been a bad one. More painful than the others.

"Morning, Moony. How...how are you?" My eyes traveled and found James' face. He looked worried.

"Stiff, but I'll live." I grimaced and noticed the array of small cuts on my body. Usually, those were healed by Siri—

No. I wouldn't think of him.

"You were a bit...bored last night. You didn't like my horns, and Pete was scared, so...in the end, you just...left and goofed off in the forest."

I nodded.

"Pomfrey's coming. Thought you could use a patching up. I mean, usually..._he_...does that, but since...you know..." James swallowed. I realized that usually he would be in the great hall by now, stuffing his face with breakfast.

I grinned at him. "Go eat. I'll be fine by myself until Pomfrey comes."

He bit his lip. "You sure?"

"Go eat," I repeated.

He left.

A few minutes later, I heard hurried footsteps.

I was out of it when Pomfrey healed me, thinking only about my mutt ex-best-friend. How was he?

"Sausages," James moaned, shoving another into his mouth.

James, Peter and I sat around the table. We had asked around, but nobody had seen Sirius since before last night.

I laughed. "For someone who claims to be straight, you sure like sausages a lot, Prongs." Peter rolled with laughter at James' incredulous expression.

"Boys..."

All three of us turned around. Proffessor McGonagall stood behind us, a hanky dabbing at her eyes.

McGonagall was _crying_.

"Boys...there is something you should see."


	2. The Fall

**Disclaimer: still don't own them. Damn it.**

**The Jump:**

The Fall.

_"Boys...there is something you should see."_

I was numb and confused as we walked through Hogwarts, stopping at the entrance of the hospital wing.

***

The air whistled past my face as I fell. The astronomy tower was getting smaller and smaller...and so was the figure that leaned over the barrier, screaming my name.

Regulus?

But I was free! Free at last. A closed my eyes and felt my body hit the ground with a dull _thud_.

***

One bed was occupied, the curtains ripped onto the floor.

We slowly approached it.

My world fell down all around me, my heart was ripped from my chest, and I was suddenly so cold that somebody might have dumped a bucket of ice-cold water on me.

No.

Impossible.

Not _him._

Lying on the cot, his face ashen, his body wrapped in bandages, a trickle of blood running down his face, was my best friend.

"Sirius," I moaned, falling to my knees.

James and Peter both screamed, "NO!"

And Sirius didn't stir.

The pain was bewildering. Terrifying.

_Sirius. Sirius, Sirius, Sirius._

_Sirius Black._

I suddenly remembered the first time I had ever seen him.

**_Kings-Cross station was huge and crowded, and I was terrified. __I had just discovered that there really _was_ a platform 9 ¾ when I saw him._**

_**He was beautiful. Insanely gorgeous. No boy should be that amazing.**_

_**I remembered what my father had told me:**_

**"God has many angels with him in heaven. He sends some down to help people who really need a hand, people who need a friend."**

_**This boy must be an angel, I thought, gawking at him. I wondered who he had been sent to help.**_

But I hadn't realized that angels, too, need help. Need someone to lean on.

Sirius black was gone, and it was my fault.

Only once I had thought this did I notice a smaller boy sitting on the cot across from us.

Regulus.


End file.
